Monday, June 30, 2008

This is not a good thing

I was die hard.

I had the t-shirts, the over sized button, and most embarrassingly a "life-sized" poster of Jon on the back of my bedroom door. I'm not exactly proud of it but I totally practiced kissing on a regular basis against the glossy finish of his almost life-sized lips. You know, he was the quiet, shy type. And at 13, so was I.

And now they're officially back. I mean, I had heard the rumors of a reunion and I think I even caught them on the Today show. But it's so weird. They're all like, fifteen years older. Time has not exactly been kind to Danny... Jordan has definitely had work done and Joey owns a yacht? Right. Check it out for yourself.


The cavorting, the girls, and oh the dancing. One word. Wow. I was watching this thinking, "They're playing it safe doing all the dancing as silhouettes... They're grown men. It's a respectable choice... It'd be embarrassing to do a choreographed dance at 39, 38, 36, 39 and 40 respectively. 40!" And then they did it. They went for the full-on, all in white, dancing on water thing. They bust out a couple of signature moves which are painful to watch and everything is just so wooden. Woo-den.

The sad part is... I kind of like it. Shhh- stop. Don't tell anyone. It's completely not my fault though- it's like a crazy earworm and now I have the ridiculous chorus stuck in my head. None of my adult music collection.... the vastly talented New Pornographers, the clever Shins, the lyrical Josh Rouse... none of it can rescue me from this NKOTB madness.

Oh, and about that poster? I nearly wore a hole in it down to the hollow wood door. Yep. At a tender 13 I think I fancied myself quite the seductress. Uh. Of two-dimensional men. Literally.

Thank you, Uncle Beefy for your original post. Otherwise I could never have finally surrendered to my adolescent fantasies without feeling like jailbait.

4 comments:

Uncle Beefy said...

Oh Salty...I'll forgive ya'! But they were NUMBER 1 on the VH1 top 20 countdown...?!?!?!?! So you are definitely NOT alone! ;)

Salty said...

Thank you Uncle Beefy, absolver of all pop-culture sins. What would we do without you? :)

Uncle Beefy said...

Hey...I love Madonna & Kylie Minogue...so how am I gonna judge? You know what they say...people who live in glass houses....am I right?

Salty said...

But seriously- glass houses are so in right now.