Friday, July 4, 2008

We interrupt this program

...To bring you something completely different.

My endocrinologist shares an office space with about five skibbidyjillion obstetricians and gynecologists, all of whom I presume work with "the pregnant folk."  And apparently all pregnant women love free crap so there's always some new pregnancy calendar,* formula carrying bag or otherwise Simulac branded knickknack lying around where the magazines are laid out.  So last time I was in I picked up a copy of "Pregnancy & Newborn" thinking it would be a nice thing to pass along to my sister-in-law who's expecting in late November.  Mind you, I suspected this monthly "magazine" was more than likely an adverzine designed to push all manner of product into the hands of unsuspecting mothers-to-be, but I picked it up anyway.  And was I ever right.  

Only I never expected just what level of wacko stuff the baby-machine has come up with lately.  I give you Exhibit A: The Easy Expression Bustier.

Allow me to state very clearly that I am super-pro breast feeding.  So it's not the act of expressing milk that bothers me at all.  And as a professional female I'm all for hands-free multi-tasking.  But seriously?  This contraption resembles an industrial cow milker a little too closely for comfort.  I think the denim dress shirt really tops it all off though.  It really says, "I am a very busy woman who works in a business-casual atmosphere and I my schedule is very, very full."  I think it would have been even better if they had gone the extra mile and put her in front of a computer in a cubicle, typing away while wearing a phone headset to demonstrate just how convenient and discreet the design of this fetching maternal undergarment really is.

Oh, and please excuse the drama of the last post.  It's not to say I'm not still thinking about the subject matter but I think maybe it got a little too woe-is-me even for my tastes.  

*Oh, and non-pregnant people love free stuff too because I once took home a pregnancy calendar thinking it would be a nice solution to my problem of lacking a small, non-bulky planner.  Wrong.  Unless you like your calendar pages to be peppered with an index of pregnancy terms and photos of fetuses.  That experience taught me that there are some free things that are really not worth taking.

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