Monday, July 7, 2008

Unwarranted advice

When you're served food in anything resembling a boat... say an oval, oven-safe casserole dish filled with shepherd's pie or even a red and white waxed-paper boat filled with french fries and chicken wings... don't eat the whole thing. Trust me. There have to be at least two adult servings of whatever that boat of disgrace contains and you really don't need it. No really. And if by some unfortunate turn of events you've managed to eat all but a few spoon/fork/spork-fulls of your sad, super-sized meal, just let it go. Really.

Ladies and Gentleman, I beg this of you not from high upon a pedestal of exemplary eating habits but from the depths of indigestion having recently consumed an entire boat of macaroni and cheese at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern. I've made my mistake so you don't have to and I only want to see you happy. Really.

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