What are the chances

...I'll be able to convince Mr.Mr. to wear this to our next summer social gathering? Maybe it's the East Coaster in me, the part that thinks a mauve, oxford, button-down shirt and grey, lightweight, argyle sweater is entirely acceptable as evening wear (with the sleeves pushed up to three-quarters and the cuffs rolled around the sweater- of course)... but I'm digging on this. Perfect for an afternoon game of croquet, n'est pas?

Found via What Consumes Me, originally on Kempt.

Must have hair

Quick tip for ladies and gents seeing signs of the recession in their languishing locks: try a beauty school for a cut on the cheap. Recently I stopped into Phagans' School of Hair Design in NE Portland and inquired about a trim. I couldn't have been more shocked when the receptionist informed me I'd have to shell out only three dollars. You read that right, three dollars for a haircut (with a shampoo it would have been a couple bucks more). Now, I don't know about you but my wallet is tight these days and any time I can make a purchase with only the contents of my change bowl- I'm a happy lady.

It turns out Phagans' offers a steep discount on all services after 6:00pm to encourage patrons to support their evening students in their efforts to complete training hours. All services are performed under loose supervision of teachers with a final review and check to ensure clients are satisfied and the student has performed well. Bring a photo if you're looking for something specific or somewhat complicated and don't hesitate to ask for a student with more hours if you're concerned your style might require a little more skill. Be prepared for a little less small talk and your trim or color to take a bit longer than your traditional stylist as most students are very focused and take a deliberate pace to ensure accuracy.

All in all, you could easily have a luxurious night at Phagans' with shampoo, cut, color and nails for less than your average haircut anywhere else.

Phagans' School of Hair Design
1542 NE Weidler
Portland, Oregon 97232
503-239-0838

and

16550 SE McLoughlin Blvd.
Milwaukie, Oregon 97268
503-652-2668

Professional style

Having transitioned to a much more professional work environment, I've been trying to suss out what to wear and what not to wear. It's amazing (not to mention to a degree, upsetting) how quickly I realized the majority of my former "business casual" work wardrobe wouldn't pass muster. T-shirts? Out. Jeans? Out. the occasional flip-flop on unbearably sunny days? No. No. No.

To add to the change of threads, I've begun wearing makeup on a daily basis which is HUGE. I've never been your typical "girly girl..." painted to the hilt. And to be completely honest, I've had some of the makeup in my bag for more than seven years. ...Hey, when you only wear it five times a year, it takes a long time to use up a tube of mascara. So- I've got new mascara, powder, and foundation, AND I bought a whole new bunch of cleansers and some sunscreen for my face. Basically I figure if I'm loading that stuff on every day, I've gotta make sure I'm taking it off every night and protecting my skin to boot. Lots of changes.

But- my big question for you all is what to do with my hair? More specifically- I've always been a ponytailer. If it was long enough to be pulled back, it went in a ponytail. Even when it was uber short, they called me "paintbrush" in college because the little nub of hair I pulled back made a sort of brush on the back of my head. So I'm wondering... is a ponytail professionally acceptable? Are there height restrictions or looping rules? I know scrunchies are out but is there some sort of barrette or ::gasp:: modern banana clip device I should be using to tie back my tresses?

School me, please because I definitely can't sort it out on my own.

Photo courtesy of www.hji.co.uk.

Don't miss it: Seattle

Grab your debit/credit cards and head on over to Nancy's Sewing Basket for their 30th anniversary sale. All their delicious fabrics are 25% off for only two more days. ALL fabrics are on sale and just for showing up they'll toss you a free seam ripper to boot. This could be a good time to pick up that $75.00/yard fabric you've been lusting over for the last six months or even to stock up on some clever Amy Butler prints. If I were in Seattle today or tomorrow I know I would be poring over the ribbon room and justifying some extra purchases with my 25% savings on everything else.

Just know that I'm super jealous. ...Think of all the new pillows I could make. ::sigh:: Enough said.

Nancy's Sewing Basket
2221 Queen Anne Ave N
Seattle, WA 98109
9:30 to 6 on Saturday and 12:30 to 5 Sunday

Shock and awe

I know this is a completely negative entry but I really can't resist. You've been warned- this is tirade territory... enter at your own risk.

That being said: My mother always told me never to say "hate" - but I hate American Apparel. I remember the days when the aura around AA was so bright you needed a pinhole camera so as not to burn your eyes... when they were lauded as the best, reasonably priced, non-sweatshop provider of American-made wearables.

And it's been well documented that the owner of the company (Dov Charney) makes no bones about sexualizing his workforce and objectifying women in general. Countless magazines have interviewed him in various states of undress and he has been involved in at least five lawsuits with former employees. People are aware of this.

But what adds insult to injury is that on top of all of the disgusting, back-office issues that swirl around American Apparel like a filthy tornado of shame- they make really crappy, ugly clothes. I walked into their Capital Hill store recently out of curiosity and was faced almost immediately with a guy in (what looked like) 70's gym shorts, a t-shirt, a bandana-style scarf around his neck and a terry-cloth headband. He was an employee. Venturing downstairs to the women's department I encountered two women, equally barely dressed. Also employees. One wore a cotton/lycra dress with a severe v-neck, dropping below her chest line and moon boots. The other sported gold lame hot shorts that exposed the thigh and actual bottom of the backside, paired with a massively open-neck shirt hanging precariously off one shoulder.

And now they're marketing this crap as "back to school" fashion? I'm no prude and I enjoy baring a little skin here and there but come on? How is it that this loathsome company has bewitched 20 and early 30-somethings to buy and wear their clothes with such a debaucherous back story and an obvious lack of taste?

... Really?

I mean, really.

Okay.

I'm done.

Sexy brown

I've moved on from purses... Now I've got a craving for these gorgeous brown leather wallets.  And at only ::choke:: $120... what should stop me, right?  You can't put a price on beauty, can you?

I love the hand drawn (and laser etched) landscapes (by Peter-John de Villiers) like nobody's business.  I've been looking for a nice wallet for Mr.Mr. (to replace the one that has become so distended with age that it has created a memory foam-like indent on his right ass cheek), but it needs more than just one pocket for cash and credit cards.  We roll big over at the Chez Salty.  Okay, not really- but I'll have to keep looking for now.  Sigh.

Maybe I could use one of these hot little numbers in the mean time to hold my business cards?  $85.00 is, in fact, less than $120.  Right?

Oh and a big shout out to Mary T. for sending me in the direction of MoCo Loco where I found these.

Photos courtesy of Makr.

Countdown to bag lady

This has got to stop. I think I need an Etsy intervention.

If... IF your mouse just happened to wander over the image of one of these GORGEOUS bags and then your finger slipped... you'd find that links are embedded in the photos to each of the seller's sites. I'm just SAYING.

We interrupt this program

...To bring you something completely different.

My endocrinologist shares an office space with about five skibbidyjillion obstetricians and gynecologists, all of whom I presume work with "the pregnant folk."  And apparently all pregnant women love free crap so there's always some new pregnancy calendar,* formula carrying bag or otherwise Simulac branded knickknack lying around where the magazines are laid out.  So last time I was in I picked up a copy of "Pregnancy & Newborn" thinking it would be a nice thing to pass along to my sister-in-law who's expecting in late November.  Mind you, I suspected this monthly "magazine" was more than likely an adverzine designed to push all manner of product into the hands of unsuspecting mothers-to-be, but I picked it up anyway.  And was I ever right.  

Only I never expected just what level of wacko stuff the baby-machine has come up with lately.  I give you Exhibit A: The Easy Expression Bustier.

Allow me to state very clearly that I am super-pro breast feeding.  So it's not the act of expressing milk that bothers me at all.  And as a professional female I'm all for hands-free multi-tasking.  But seriously?  This contraption resembles an industrial cow milker a little too closely for comfort.  I think the denim dress shirt really tops it all off though.  It really says, "I am a very busy woman who works in a business-casual atmosphere and I my schedule is very, very full."  I think it would have been even better if they had gone the extra mile and put her in front of a computer in a cubicle, typing away while wearing a phone headset to demonstrate just how convenient and discreet the design of this fetching maternal undergarment really is.

Oh, and please excuse the drama of the last post.  It's not to say I'm not still thinking about the subject matter but I think maybe it got a little too woe-is-me even for my tastes.  

*Oh, and non-pregnant people love free stuff too because I once took home a pregnancy calendar thinking it would be a nice solution to my problem of lacking a small, non-bulky planner.  Wrong.  Unless you like your calendar pages to be peppered with an index of pregnancy terms and photos of fetuses.  That experience taught me that there are some free things that are really not worth taking.

Pillow talk and Sinspiration

Et voila! I can finally show the finished product of all my hemming (har, har) and hawing about new fabrics and fancy sewing shops. Our new pillow covers have made their debut and critics are raving. And it only took me three hours. No joke. "But it's a square," you're saying. I know. Don't harsh my pillow buzz.

So my next project is bigger and better. A while back I started watching Sex & the City through Netflix to see just exactly what

kinds of naughty bits I had been missing by watching it late night style on UPN or whatever that channel calls itself these days. And early on I saw an episode in which SJP wears a cute little shirt dress. And it just looks so comfortable. And cute. Did I mention it looked cute? Yeah. So I bought a McCall's pattern (M5378) and some cheap starter fabric from JoAnns. And I'm going to make this:

And the good news is it will only take me, like, a year.

The price of "pretty:" the big splurge

As noted previously, on the spectrum of girlyness, I score embarrassingly low. But for reasons unbeknownst to me I've been having some very acute urges lately to acquire more symbols and tools of femininity.  For instance, I've only straightened my hair a handful of times ever but I've been fantasizing a lot lately about this little gadget.  At almost $100.00 it's a big spend on a hair product given my old reliable routine is a snagless elastic band and some hand moisturizer to reduce frizz.  The Chi would actually require me to dry my hair before leaving the house which deducts at least another ten minutes of potential sleepy time in the a.m.-  not to mention I might have to wash my hair more often.  Eesh.  But the videos!  Have you seen the curls?  And how easy it all looks. Honestly, as someone whose in-mirror, hand-eye coordination is less than agile- it's like watching someone remove their own kidney. It's captivating watching these girls twirl and crimp and twist and fluff.  I have no idea how they do it... but now I want to try.

That and I've become obsessed with finding the perfect hobo bag.  Yes, a hobo bag.  Upon uttering those words, anyone who knows me would think I've fallen prey to an invasion of the body snatchers, or better yet become a stepford wife but I'm serious.  I want this bag.  Or at least I think I do.  It's made locally which I like and I have at least one friend who has the bag and loves it.  But as much as I know the crafts(wo)manship is fantastic and it's both vegan-friendly and stylish, I have a hard time swallowing $125.00 for a purse.  I mean, I can fit my wallet in my back pocket (and have for years), my keys clip on to my belt loops (for an added, gypsy-jangle sound effect) and my cell phone creates a  modestly-sized bump in my pocket (which only kind of looks like a tiny penis).  So really, what do I need a purse for?  

Now you understand my problem.  The reality is, I want both the Chi and the hobo bag but the urge to buy these random lady accessories compete neck and neck with my need to eat food (sometimes out at fancy restaurants), drink hot chocolate regularly and buy many other [cheaper] splurgy things like books I won't read for months and small art that will go unframed until December.  So which is better: to occasionally buy pricey items that I've thought long and hard about but rarely have an direct impact on my quality of life or to treat myself on a regular basis to small, short-lived pleasantries that bring me equally short-term satisfaction?Tough call, if you ask me.

Image courtesy of marriedtothesea.com.

Times they are a changin'

Every year when it turns from cool to warm weather (and vice versa), I pull down my purple sterlite tub o'clothes and take stock of what I've tucked away eight months prior.  Usually I know every item of clothing by heart and it's a quick decision what to unpack into my bureau and what to leave for next year.  At least a quarter of the bin stays put. Wistful hopes of losing an entire femur or pangs of nostalgia that create a force field of protection from the donation pile have allowed items like the men's windbreaker embroidered to commemorate a 2006 family reunion to linger year after year. I have a very hard time getting rid of things.  [<- That kids, is an example of an "understatement."  Say it with me, "under...statement."]  I have socks I bought in college... yes, socks.  Many of my clothes are throwbacks to my years in retail when I had an employee discount and line of credit that forgave all manner of spending indiscretions.

But since the wedding we've had to be much more strict about what we keep and what bites the dust.  With one non-bedroom closet in the apartment, there's a limit to what we can keep and one tires of playing tetris with things like air conditioners and amps.  So last night I did the unthinkable.  I carefully folded and placed into the "resale" bag, my SRO skirt.  

I purchased this size 10, 14" long (WHAT?) skirt six years ago at Arden B at the Cambridgeside Galleria with my best friend Carolyn.  I was 22 years old and getting ready to drive 10 hours in a sub-compact car all the way to Richmond Virginia to see my oh-my-god-new-favorite-band, Carbon Leaf play on New Year's Eve.  It was my first road trip.  It was my first night reserving a hotel with my own debit card.  Not to mention it was my first 14" skirt.

And folks, the reality of a 14" long skirt is that you do not sit down.  I repeat, you do NOT sit down.  This is why we call it the Standing Room Only skirt(tm).  You do not bend, you do not kneel, you do not crouch, you do not squat.  You barely move at all, in fact for fear that your 10 inches of backside will sneak a peak from beneath the hem and make an unscheduled guest appearance.  

This is the skirt that introduced me to Lee.  Lee was 24 years old and worked trimming branches (aka lumberjack) just outside of Richmond.  And man, did I think he was dreamy.  Weeks after we got back into Carolyn's little car, my film camera filled with rosy-faced photos of me and Lee, late night, long-distance conversations continued.  But that time of my life has come and gone and as a married lady, there's really no place for an SRO skirt.  (Which is weird, I know, 'cause it's only 14" long.)  So if you know a size 10, twenty-something looking to strike out across the country to meet her very own lumberjack... give me a call.  I have just the thing for her.

Oh my god, I've been saved!

YouTube to the rescue! As a non-girly girl I've never been the one with the best makeup, the cutest hair or the most fashionable clothes at a party. But it turns out there may still be hope for me yet, thanks to droves and droves of girls and women who have flocked to YouTube to post how tos and demonstrations. In a quick search I found:
How to curl your hair with a flat iron
How to create a smokey eye
How to dress up nicely
...Okay so that last one might be a bit out of my league but I think I could rock pink heels.

So this is great. It turns out I don't even need female friends anymore- I can just learn everything I need to know from the webernets. Mostly kidding of course, I've actually been looking for some help in the appearance department for some time now so I'll have to do a few trial runs to see how much of a hot mess I can make of myself. All in the name of fashion. Can't wait!

Just search on "how to" at YouTube to check out more tutorials.

Are puffy sleeves over yet?

Seriously? Barf. When did prairie chic takeover and can it be done? Now?